Identities In Me. Week 4 Intercultural Comm Project.

 For class this week, we were asked to choose and describe two identities which we associate with and answer certain questions in reference to those identities and their role in our lives. Here's what my brain threw out!

           

          When meditating on identities that I am classed with or that are hidden within me, the first thing that I notice is that I am a woman. Sure, there are the disadvantages of being hit on by people you’re not interested in, or worse, people who make you uncomfortable, and there are some deep hardships (like childbirth) that come with being a woman, but overall, it is something to be proud of. Now, I am painfully aware that I am saying this as a citizen of the United States of America, and that I have been incredibly blessed to reside in one of the more democratic nations where voting and drinking coffee and wearing jeans is not a crime, but even here the poverty rate for women looms over certain geographical locations. Some countries do not allow women to drive, or vote, some women are abused or taken advantage of simply because of their gender (Ellison, 2011), but I don’t think that’s how it was meant to be.

            In the Old Testament book of Genesis, we see God create Eve from the rib He took from Adam while he slept (Genesis 2:21-22). John Greco, of Relevant Magazine, discusses Eve’s role in his article, The Forgotten Element of Romance, and explains how despite misunderstandings due to faulty English translations, Eve is not so much a ‘helper,’ but rather someone who ‘fills up what is lacking’ (Greco, 2012). God created woman with a very important purpose in mind. Everything else He created in those first six days was seen as ‘good’ when He was finished, but when he saw that Adam was alone, it was ‘not good’ (Genesis 2:18). What helped me to realize how beautiful this role was has so much to do with Scripture and seeing how even Jesus was very close with the women around Him, and God created woman because Adam wasn’t complete by himself, this reveals to me that I have a pretty important role to fulfill! This indeed gives me a feeling of purpose and challenges me to grow in virtue as I mature.

            As stated earlier, there are slight disadvantages to being a woman, such as being a more vulnerable gender, and sometimes being the subject of affections not desired, but overall, I find the advantages to outweigh the disadvantages! I am the ying to mans yang, he is strong, clumsy and unemotional; the protector. Whereas I am the relational, soft yet firm vitality of this duo. I find it a joy to be the nurturer of children by my own nature, I find it a joy to be a little bit (or a lot) stubborn and ridiculous in my pursuit of things when it comes to wanting to provide good food and hospitality to others. Nora Ephron relates well in her book, I Feel Bad About My Neck and Other thoughts on Being a Woman, as she jests about the cabbage strudel she just must find and share with her husband or have at a party for others to indulge (Ephron, 2008). Most people might not understand, but when a woman sets her mind to something, she fulfills her desired purpose and sits enthroned in her success of accomplishment, and then races off to the next impossible errand!

This role of being a woman is very cool for my job in particular, because I work at a preschool, so truly women are the best at dealing with and nurturing children. I love that I am the essence of comfort, and that I am learning how to be better woman by caring for children. It effects how women communicate with each other because we all understand this fierceness that lies beneath the surface of combed hair and eyeliner. We know what each other is capable of, and we silently respect it even in the women we dislike. When communicating with others, for example, men, we are able to stand apart and have qualities only attained by women, and this is the age old game of cat and mouse, the birds and the bees. We possess something they don’t and vise versa, which is why we are drawn to each other in this strange and dangerous combination that is at times hilarious, other times beautiful and always seems to be pure insanity.

Another identity that I identify with is that of a daughter. I am not only a daughter to my parents, I am a daughter to every person who has taught me something, every woman or man who has lived longer or deeper than I have, and that has wrapped their arms of wisdom around me in hopes to guide, or simply lived in their little worlds while I watched, unbeknownst to them and learned from their successes and failures. I am the daughter of a friendly, hard-working, coffee loving man and a beautiful, sacrificial and creative woman, and I am the daughter of their parents as well as their parents parents who have passed down the veins that make me me. Our parents teach us much of our self-esteem and values of self-worth (Kitamura, 2008), and although my parents were not perfect, being their daughter taught me that they do not love me for what I do, but for who I am, and I know that if I fail, they will not abandon me, and while they cheer when I succeed, at the end of the day it is me who is their prize.

Being a daughter is different than being a son because even my brothers are protective of me. It is an advantage being a daughter because if your family is healthy, you learn how to be a wife by watching the way your parents treat each other, and a friend by seeing how your family interacts. A daughter is a learner, and that is such a grateful and rewarding thing to be. It can sometimes be difficult if you are taken less seriously by those who consider you a child, but wisdom comes with age, and in time, I too will have biological or surrogate daughters to teach. This effects me at work and school because it allows me to take a more humble role of learner in all situations, and I connect on such a unique level with others who consider themselves to be teachable, or simply daughters.

These roles are such a joy to find myself a part of. I am always learning, as well as teaching. I am blazing with a fierce boldness that comes with being a woman, and a humble heart that I have learned by being a daughter. They allow me to move forward with hope inspired by women before me, and by girls that I influence that challenge me to be a better woman today, and even learn from them as a daughter in unexpected situations. I think that men, who can neither truly be a woman or a daughter, would never really be able to delve into what we as females understand about each other. I think it allows for interesting relationships to share the opposites and learn from each other in that way, as we each share different sides of the image of God, our Creator. It is a joy and a thrill, and I will continue pursuing all that makes me woman, even the messy and painful stuff, like changing diapers and growing old!

           

ELLISON, J. (2011). THE 2011 GLOBAL WOMEN'S PROGRESS REPORT. Newsweek, 158(13), 27.

Kitamura, K. (2008). Adult mother-daughter relationships and psychological well-being: Attachment to mothers, depressive symptoms, and self-esteem. (English). Japanese Journal Of Psychology, 79(2), 116-124.

Ephron, N. (2008) . I feel bad about my neck: And other thoughts on being a woman. New York, NY: Vintage Books.

Greco, J. (2012). The forgotten element of romance. Relevant Magazine, Issue59. Retrieved from http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/forgotten-element-romance